The Final Destination: XLV


After a year of immense boredom (the offseason), high expectations (the preseason), a roller coasters of emotion (the actual season), and weekly heart attacks (the post season), we are finally here.  Man, it has been a crazy year in NFL.  From the usual salary issues (Revis Island anyone?) to the yearly entanglement with law enforcement (Big Bearded Ben’s extreme desire for unwilling women) to simply texting pictures of one’s genitals (HELLOOOOOO Ms. Sterger).  It’s been a wild ride.  AND we are not done yet!

The Superbowl is watch by about 100 million people a year, second only to the UEFA Champions league final (sorry America).  Regardless that is a HUGE number (and thank you commercials).

Normally when choosing who to pick as the winner of the game, I would look to the stats over the current season.  I would go through the QB ratings, the running game, the wide receiver skill, the success of the offensive line, the success of the defensive line, the number of points the opponents were held, etc.  However, like every Superbowl, these stats are thrown out the window as soon as the first whistle sounds (see David ‘I haven’t caught a pass since’ Tyree, Big Ben in XLIII, THE Joe Montana, and the ageless Bart Starr in the Ice Bowl).  As such, I need to redefine how to rank each team.  My new found stats are based on uniform colors, the more likable team, and just plain gut feelings.

Uniform Colors

Both teams are at a loss in this category.  Lets be honest: one team is a bumble bee and the other is the color of a lawnmower.  But if I had to pick one, it would be the freshly mowed lawn of a new football field vs the ‘annoying-ness’ of bees.

Advantage: PACKERS

Likable Team

This one is a no brainer.  One team has a player that has stood on the sideline, selflessly took his time, and waited for the opportunity.  The other had unsolicited sex with a girl in a public bathroom.

Advantage:  PACKERS


Gut Feelings

As a 49er advocate it is tough to be a fan of either of these teams.  One team just dominated us in the late 90s (creating Brett Favre phobia) and the other has one more Superbowl than us (and on the brink of owning two more!).  However, after watching both these teams play throughout the season, my gut is going with the Steelers.  They have that unnerving confidence that can rattle an opponent.  Their defense is the Steel Curtain Part 2, the Remixed Version.  And they have the experience; an experience level that the Packers can not replicate.  As much as I like Aaron Rodgers (Go Bears!), the gut says Steelers.

Advantage: STEELERS.

Although the Packers have better colors and are more likable, the Steelers will win this game.

Prediction: Steelers by 3 (27-24)


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One Response to The Final Destination: XLV

  1. pakastallion says:

    It might be overstated, but I think this Super Bowl represents a clash of football paradigms. The New Front versus the Old Guard. It represents the philosophy of hard nosed football predicated on a strong imposing defense and smash mouth running game on the one hand and a sophisticated offense that moves the ball through the air and makes big defensive plays on the other. While I will be pulling for, ma boi, the Cal Product, I’m picking the Steelers to win. The Packers will strike first, jumping to a modest lead. As the game settles down, look for the Steelers to impose their will by running and Big Ben converting on third downs. It should be a good one. Steelers 27-22.

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